Blackmail Shino Style
by fillerab
Summary: Series of Kibahina oneshots.
1. Blackmail Shino Style

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Shino Style Blackmail

…

"Do you think she'll like the pink roses or the red ones better?"

"If you were actually going to give them to her this time, I would say pink."

"SHUT UP! I will SO give them to her this time!"

"Of course."

Kiba babbled on about colors and choices and presents when Shino abruptly walked away.

"WHATEVER, JACKASS!" Kiba screamed at Shino's back.

Shino pondered his situation as he made his way through Konoha. Kiba was like the itch you could never, EVER reach.

He didn't want to resort to this. But it had to be done.

Shino stood in front of the Hyuuga mansion for awhile, knowing that someone would see him and alert Hinata.

When she came out, Shino squirmed around a bit.

"Shino? Are you okay?" asked Hinata.

He stared at her for a bit. Then out of his gargantuan sweater, he pulled out a little stuffed animal.

"ARTHUR! Thank god! I thought I had lost him forever!" squealed Hinata. She reached for the cute little toy when Shino dangled it over her head.

Yes. Hinata still sleeps with a stuffed animal even though she is seventeen.

"You will only receiver Arthur the Armadillo if you do something for me," he explained.

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, until-

"Shino…I need Arthur. I haven't slept for three days."

"Then you will do me a favor," he said emotionlessly, which kind of scared the young kunoichi.

"Um…O-Okay. What is it?" she asked.

"First of all, Kiba is in love with you. Second of all, he will not keep it to himself. You will seduce him if you ever want to see your precious armadillo ever again."

"K-Kiba? You're crazy! Kiba is not in love with me!" Hinata gasped.

"It doesn't matter if he is or is not. I have Arthur and you will do what I say," he said.

"But, I don't know how to seduce someone!" she cried as she flailed her arms around.

Shino sighed. "Well I guess I will just have to show you," he said in a low, husky voice as he advanced toward her.

"Okay I know how!" she squeaked before he could come any closer.

"But why do I have to seduce him? Can't I do something else? L-like go to the festival o-or go to dinner with him?"

"It is because Kiba is a fool. That would make him worry and lead him to talk to me even more." He paused. "Which is bad. If you do this then he will be silent. Forever."

Shino pushed her towards their training spot where she would have to do the deed.

Kiba was sitting and arguing with Akamaru.

"No I am not a pussy. I just have to wait for the right moment!" Akamaru was about to retort to his master's remark, but a butterfly caught his attention as he frolicked after it. That sly Shino.

Hinata squeezed her eyes shut. _This is for Arthur, this is for Arthur…_

She walked towards Kiba. Once she knew that he could see her, she started slowly unzipping her jacket. Kiba's eyes bulged out of his skull.

When she got close enough to him, she whispered shakily," K-kiba, do you know w-what I'm going to d-do?"

"N-nno," he gulped.

Hinata panicked. In reality, she didn't even know what she was going to do. Then she remembered Shino's not-so-lesson on seduction.

"Well," she whispered in a low, husky voice, "I guess I'll just have to show you."

Kiba's body started to get tense.

_WHATTHEHELL,_ he thought, _Is this some fucked up dream sequence?_

Hinata walked up toward him…then backed away. She battled inwardly with herself-

_C'mon Hinata! Remember Arthur! Remember the good times!_

**But it's Kiba! I can't do this to him!**

_Don't be afraid! He likes you, remember?_

**I can't seduce someone!**

_Look at him! He's kinda cute, eh?_

Hinata snapped back to reality and looked at Kiba. He was standing there with a flustered expression on his face. His hair was all over the place and he had mud on his cheek.

_Awwww…see he is cute!_

**SHHH! Wait…Who are you!**

_Hinata…I'm your Father!_

**W-What! Otou-san?**

_Heh. Just kidding. I'm not sure. I think I'm your conscience. OooOOo! COONNSSCIIENCE!_

Hinata looked up at the dazed and confused Kiba. She looked at his disheveled appearance and giggled silently.

Smiling softly, she brushed some of the hair out of his face and wiped off the smudges of dirt.

"There," she said, "Now I can see your face."

Kiba grinned stupidly and said "Thaaanks."

Then he promptly fainted.

"B-but I haven't e-even started y-yet!" wailed a panicked Hinata.

_In the distance_

Shino popped the tape out of the recorder as he pet Akamaru on the forehead.

"That'll shut Kiba up," he said as he walked away with the tape in one hand and Arthur the Armadillo in the other.

END

Thanks for reading please review!


	2. Utensil Dilemna

**Utensil Dilemna **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

Here we are at a nice little restaurant.

* * *

Nice restaurant according to them.

NICE MY ASSHOLE!

I'm sitting here and I realize that I have two forks.

I need a spoon. Desperately.

No, I didn't order any soup or anything that requires usage of that particular utensil but SHUT UP.

"Shino? Can I have your spoon?" I ask him, trying not to show my anticipation.

"No."

"PLLEEEEAASSE?"

I'm thinking about just grabbing his spoon right now but - DAMMIT!

Shino knows me so well. He just dropped his spoon into his coat.

"Here Kiba, you can have my spoon."

I turned left see Hinata holding out her spoon.

I swear to god that angels are singing and light is emitting from her as I hastily take the spoon.

"Thank you!" I scream. I don't think she was expecting the bear hug.

She looks a little red, but that is okay for now. I have my spoon and all is right in the world.

Then, as soon as our food comes, I realize that Hinata ordered soup.

Which makes me a BASTARD!

"Here you can have my spoon," said Shino out of NOWHERE! Seriously, it is like he flies out of oblivion to make me look bad.

"NO, have MY spoon. I didn't need it anyway," I say, pushing the spoon towards her.

She looks so flustered. "Oh, I-I'm sorry!" she squeeks, looking back and forth to me and Shino.

I feel kinda bad, you know. She gets like this a lot.

"You know, you're cute sometimes Hinata," I say to her, grinning.

Now she is looking at me like I just shot her with a flamethrower.

And then she got even MORE squeeky and flustered and fidgety.

Only when I scoot right up next to her does she get rigid again.

"Relax, babe. Kiba will fix it," I coo to her pushing my spoon into her hand.

Ha! I'm so smooth.

Shino is just sitting there smacking his forehead. You snooze you lose sucker!

* * *

**Alright I know it's lame.  
FORGIVE ME **

**Thanks for reading, please review!**


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